George Marks/Getty Images
George Marks/Getty Images
Co-sleeping is back in the news.
Last week in Toledo, Ohio, a 2-month-old boy died after spending the night in his mother's bed. The mother had fallen asleep while breastfeeding her son; when she awoke, he was no longer breathing. He could not be revived.
As a mother, I felt a terrible sadness in reading about this little boy's death. I cannot begin to comprehend this family's loss.
The death is reported as "a co-sleeping accident." In its wake, the director of Toledo's Children Services warned parents that co-sleeping is "dangerous." In Cincinnati, police officers and citizen-on-patrol members teamed up to spread similar warnings. (It isn't clear to me whether the Cincinnati effort was motivated by the Toledo baby's death.)
It's understandable that public-health officials want to do everything they can to reduce infant mortality. When a doctor's advice is a stark pronouncement that a baby "should sleep alone in a crib by themselves," however, I wish for greater clarity and context. The stakes are high and solid, scientific evidence suggests that certain patterns of co-sleeping are beneficial for babies and their parents.
Co-sleeping is a catch-all term that needs to be broken down into subcategories. Sharing a room and sharing a bed are quite different practices.
The American Academy of Pediatricians (AAP) recognizes this distinction. It advises that infants should always sleep on their backs and on a firm surface, and on the issue of co-sleeping, recommends that "the baby should sleep in the same room as the parents, but not in the same bed (room-sharing without bed-sharing)." The idea is that room-sharing embraces the benefit of close monitoring of the baby but avoids any risk of a parent inadvertently rolling over on the child.
Without a doubt, alcohol, tobacco, or other drug use by the parent, or low birth weight in the infant, make bed-sharing too risky. Yet I find convincing the research of scientists who argue that no one-size-fits-all recommendation of co-sleeping is warranted, and that, under certain conditions, new parents might want to consider bed-sharing.
In the sense of mother-infant skin-to-skin contact, or very close proximity through the night, co-sleeping is both our evolutionary heritage and a common practice today in families across the globe. Certainly, this reason alone is not sufficient to adopt the bed-sharing form of co-sleeping; evolutionary precedent and global custom say nothing about a behavior's safety or efficacy. They do, however, hint that bed-sharing is likely to have significant advantages.
For example, breast-feeding, proven to be beneficial in ways both physiological and emotional for babies, is greatly facilitated by a mother's easy access to her baby through the night. This point is among those made by anthropologist James McKenna, who has studied co-sleeping for decades.
In a peer-reviewed article co-authored with Thomas McDade, McKenna describes research that includes videotape analysis of mother-infant pairs in his sleep lab. Because babies' brains at birth are neurologically immature, episodes of mutual arousal between mom and baby through the night can help regularize the infant's respiration. Some studies suggest that the risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) may be reduced by bed-sharing, though the debate on that point is ongoing.
No one should construe this debate as social scientists pitched against doctors. A column by Dr. William Sears exemplifies the fact that some pediatricians enthusiastically recommend bed-sharing, linking it explicitly with a lowered risk of SIDS.
Given all this disagreement from the experts, what are new parents to conclude? I favor McKenna and McDade's cautious approach. They do not recommend bed-sharing across the board. In their view, a safe pattern of co-sleeping boils down to this:
"At least one responsible, safety-educated, adult co-sleeper (whether mother or not) sleeps close enough to actively monitor (and/or breast feed) the infant using at least two sensory modalities simultaneously, i.e. tactile and visual, or auditory and visual, or auditory and tactile."
Applied anthropology teaches us, then, that with an aware, motivated, and engaged adult as part of the pair, bed-sharing may be quite safe. Flat recommendations on where infants should sleep are far less helpful to new parents — and their children — than are careful contextual analyses of this sort.
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FAQs
Because of the risks involved, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) warn against bed-sharing. The AAP does recommend the practice of room-sharing without bed-sharing. Sleeping in the parents' room but on a separate surface lowers a baby's risk of SIDS.
At what age should a child stop sleeping with parents? ›
According to Liz Nissim-Matheis, a clinical psychologist in New Jersey, it's best to end co-sleeping when a person reaches puberty, or at around 11. “Once we get into that territory of bodies changing, that's when you really want to take a step back and say, 'What is going on here?
Should babies sleep in their parents' bed? ›
The AAP's safe sleeping guidelines4, which were updated in June 2022, state that parents should never let their baby sleep in the bed with them—citing the risk of suffocation, sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), and other sleep-related deaths.
What are the long term effects of cosleeping? ›
The impact of chronic co-sleeping includes memory loss, fatigue, low energy, depression, and obesity.
Do co-sleeping babies sleep better? ›
It has been shown in one previous study using polysomnography that cosleeping infants had more arousals and that they remained in lighter stages of NREM sleep when sharing the same bed with their mothers in the laboratory, regardless of whether they routinely did so at home or not.
At what age is cosleeping safe? ›
Co-sleeping with a child over 1 year old has a little less risk than with one under 12 months. At a toddler's age of 1 to 2 years old, they can roll over and free themselves in case they are trapped in the bed. As a child gets older, it becomes less risky to co-sleep, but it's still best for them to sleep on their own.
Is it unhealthy for a child to sleep with their parents? ›
Bed sharing can be dangerous for babies. Reason: risk of suffocation. After 12 months, there is no proven risk of harm. There is no evidence that bed-sharing produces children who are more spoiled or dependent.
What percentage of moms cosleep? ›
New survey shows 9 in 10 parents co-sleep but less than half know how to reduce the risk of SIDS. A survey of over 3,400 new parents, carried out by The Lullaby Trust, has shown that 9 in 10 co-sleep with their baby.
Does co-sleeping create bad habits? ›
And then there was the terrifyingly titled 2021 study published in the journal Behavioral Sleep Medicine: “Early Childhood Co-Sleeping Predicts Behavior Problems in Pre-Adolescence.”
What age can baby sleep away from mom? ›
Between 4 and 9 months is the overnighter sweet spot. Before that, your baby may still be perfecting breastfeeding, waking up a lot at night, and bonding with parents, which makes it a less-than-ideal (but not impossible) time to leave them with a sitter overnight.
But health experts warn parents not to place their infants to sleep in adult beds due to serious safety risks. Bed-sharing increases the chance of suffocation, strangulation, and SIDS.
Does co-sleeping affect growth? ›
The bed-sharing controversy
Some experts warn against it (before 6 months of age) due to its association with sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), while others argue that it has potential benefits for children's development (Ball, Hooker, & Kelly, 1999; McKenna & McDade, 2005; Moon et al., 2022).
Is cosleeping better for brain development? ›
Cognitive benefits are generally not studied, but several studies have shown that co-sleeping infants were more independent as preschoolers or older children than solitary-sleeping infants.
What do pediatricians say about co-sleeping? ›
Is it Safe to Co-Sleep With A Baby? The American Academy of Pediatrics strongly recommends room-sharing but discourages bed-sharing. Some types of co-sleeping may pose risks for an infant's health.
What is the difference between bed sharing and co-sleeping? ›
Co-sleeping definitions
Room sharing | When a baby sleeps in their parent(s) or carer in their own separate sleeping space such as a cot or Moses basket. Bed sharing | When a baby shares the same bed with an adult for most of the night, and not just to be comforted or fed.
Why do babies love co-sleeping? ›
Co-sleeping promotes a close bond between parent and baby, and helps release the love hormone oxytocin, which plays a vital role in bonding and attachment.
Is it normal for a 7 year old to sleep with parents? ›
Although not recommended for any age, a 7-year-old sleeping with their parents is considered normal in many families and cultures. Co-sleeping is not recommended, but a 7-year-old child sleeping with parents is considered normal in many families and cultures.
Is it normal for a 14 year old to sleep with their parents? ›
"I wouldn't want a 14-year-old child sleeping in the bed with his or her mother or father. If you asked me to draw a line, I think it's at the prepubertal time," Fisk said. Matheis agrees. "Adolescence, or the onset of puberty, may be a good time to transition to different beds," she said.
At what age should a child fall asleep alone? ›
Generally, experts recommend that the sooner your little one learns to sleep in their crib or bed, the better. It may be easier to train toddlers (between the ages of 1-3) to sleep in their own crib since they can't get out.
Should a mother sleep with her 11-year-old son? ›
Experts say there are no major issues with a parent co-sleeping -- sharing a bed or room -- with their child if the arrangement works for both parties, but parents co-sleeping with babies and infants should keep safety precautions in mind.
